Forward Momentum

Modern Christianity: a failed religion?

“…religion, even the religion we are committed to and in which we have found God and purpose and meaning and truth, can become captive to a colossal distortion. It can become a benign and passive chaplaincy to a failing and dysfunctional culture, the religious public relations department for an inadequate and destructive ideology. It can forego being a force of liberation and transformation and instead become a source of domestication, resignation, pacification, and distraction.”

That McLaren is a bevy of adjectives and verbs, no? So that is the negative possibility for religion. What could it do if applied with integrity?

“A right understanding of God and faith can train people to hold their heads high, to doubt the lies of a dysfunctional society and to work for its transformation. But a misguided understanding can be an opiate that keeps their heads down in submission or desperation so they continue to serve the societal system that is destroying them, believing its lies, performing according to its self-destructive script.”

Bold calls to action like this are what make Brian McLaren a joy to read and a burr in the bottom of status-quo Christians everywhere. Very accurately spoken. This passage struck me because of the word opiate. Marx’s assertion that “[religion is] the opium of the people” was not lost on me as a teen. I witnessed (and still do) many people claiming to love Christ, yet living as though in a counter-intuitive stupor. Without some much needed context, I thought then that this was true of religion itself. Now I understand that it is true of the most popular application of modern Christianity. Gandhi said it best: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Yah, we kind of fucked up a lot and for a long time. The next chapter elaborates…

“Eventually some leaders began to realize that many young and alienated ex-churched people originally dropped out of their churches after attending college (or getting out on their own where they could think for themselves) and learning about the dark side of the Christian religion’s track record… the Crusades, witch burnings, colonialism, slavery, the Holocaust, apartheid, environmental irresponsibility, mistreatment of women.

These young people started caring about these issues, but they didn’t find their fellow adherents to the Christian religion very concerned. Too often, they realized, Christians through history have played on the wrong side of these issues. And even when Christians in recent decades concerned themselves with contemporary issues, they focused primarily on personal and sexual matters, simultaneously neglecting larger societal and systemic injustices that caused unimagined suffering. And even in regard to their narrow range of ‘moral issues,’ they were consistently effective in generating heat and conflict but consistently less effective in making a lasting, constructive difference. In doing so, they created an image of the typical Christian believer as tense, judgemental, imbalanced, reactionary, negative, and hypocritical.”

“…for the millions of young adults who dropped out of their churches in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, the Christian religion appears to be a failed religion.”

Thanks forefathers. Tell ya what. We’ll take it from here.

More excerpts from Everything Must Change: Jesus, Global Crises and a Revolution of Hope by Brian McLaren

The power and danger of metaphor

“Metaphors help us see invisible or unfamiliar things by comparing them to visible and familiar things. They help us grasp intangible things by rendering them as tangible things. They help us leap from the known and familiar to the unknown and unfamiliar. [But] For all the help they give us, they do not give us exhaustive knowledge of the thing they seek to [explain]. The fact is, we don’t fully know the people closest to us, nor do we know ourselves fully. Even after years of being a spouse or parent, we are often mystified or just plain wrong about one another, and our own motivations are often even more opaque to us than they are to others. So we should remember that the most helpful metaphor can give us a false confidence, and we should use metaphors with appropriate caution.

Even further, we must acknowledge that metaphors can be terribly dangerous. For example, when tribal conflict was brewing in Rwanda leading up to the genocide in 1994, one tribe (Hutu) used two powerful metaphors to dehumanize the other (the Tutsi). By calling them cockroaches or tall trees, it became easier to squash them or cut them down, so that genocide seemed more like a pest control or landscape improvement than a grotesque and inhumane mass murder that it was.”

-excerpt from Everything Must Change by Brian McLaren

While these aspects of metaphor are easily applied to all of human communication, my interest was piqued as it relates to the Bible and other ancient holy texts. The purpose of using parables and the other rhetorical concepts in the Bible has been a reoccurring thought over the last several months. At first I cleanly summarized their use as a way to bridge the gap between cultures over time; so that a woman in 2008 could still understand the messages written largely by/for men many years ago. But Jesus added another depth when He said that non-believers who hear a parable “may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding”. Shucks, biblical parables don’t just “help us grasp intangible things by rendering them as tangible”; they make truth available only to active seekers. Like the seed that fell on good soil, we have to be ready to listen when truth comes knocking.

OK, so far I think I’ve got it. Use a metaphor to make truth more understandable to seekers, and confounding to naysayers. But what about that danger bit that Brian pointed out? I am not aware of any biblical warnings about the use of metaphor, even though the Bible is riddles with rhetorical concepts. But maybe it is there and just an often overlooked warning. (Hey, it does mention clarity of speech/truthfulness quite a bit.)

From this I look at the framing stories that have allowed Christianity a long and bloody reign over the “unsaved”: the inaccurate and self-centered beliefs that the church has held onto to try and validate their very un-Christlike campaigns. I think of “universal truths” that have shown up in countless ancient religions, along with Christianity, and wonder how much of the Bible is parable versus literal. I feel like the warning aspect of how to properly use a metaphor has been missed or been obscured over time. Was this done for our immediate benefit (to inspire searching) or long-term benefit (to lead humans along this pre-destined road in preparation for something)? I do not know.

For the first time since my brief teen years as an atheist, I am looking at the Bible sideways. Not to question its inherent truth, but its literal truth given its preference for parables. Translation: how many of the seemingly literal aspects of the Bible are actually just symbolic ways to express truth? I see this question as a very likely answer to another question: why do so many religions across the world, from the beginning of time, have so many very similar beliefs to them? I can’t say for sure yet, but my theory is that the Bible is one of many sets of metaphors that explain universal truth. Since the Bible was inspired by God (or God-breathed), can we view the human inspired “variant messages” (Book of Mormon, Qur’an, etc.) as sort of unauthorized metaphors? And the ensuing division that they cause as the rightful consequence of authoring those texts? Is fighting between religions a logical outcome when we become divisive based on our human inspired texts?

This has quickly gotten divisive, and I meant to go the exact opposite direction! What I’m seeing now - with fuzzy edges and blurred colors - is the probability that there are universal truths that religions the world over have embraced. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist… when you push some (very important) details aside we have much similarity. If you change the name of the diety, Christians could be jamming with tons of other religions. Perhaps the Christians are guilty of (among other things) holding too strongly to their metaphors. Rather than looking for the universal truth that others have also gleaned from their metaphors, we seem happy to take our metaphors at face value and reject everything else.

This was far too much rambling, but I can feel that it was needed. More for me (and you) to think about. More questions and, from where I’m standing, more hope.

The War Machine “acting properly”

“Afghan officials expressed outrage at the decision by the U.S. military not to charge U.S. Marines involved in a shooting spree that left 19 civilians dead in 2007…

Afghan witnesses and a report by Afghanistan’s Independent Human Rights Commission concluded that a unit of Marine special operations troops opened fire along a 10-mile stretch of road, killing up to 19 civilians and wounding 50 other people…

However, Lt. Gen. Samuel Helland, the commander of U.S. Marine Corps Forces, Central Command… determined that the Marines in the convoy ‘acted appropriately and in accordance with the rules of engagement and tactics, techniques and procedures in place at the time in response to a complex attack’.”

I guess what surprises me is that the rest of the world assumes that America gives a flying fuck about the lives that we destroy in the name of our War on Terrorism. How many times do we need read the military or our government literally say, “That atrocity over there? Oh, that’s part of the plan, guys. No worries.” and not get it? We’re “at war”, which give us a free pass to break any old law, be it man’s or God’s. When you’ve sunk half of your income on a military presence meant to “police the world” and then start “pre-emptive” wars, is abuse not to be expected?

We Speak Kindly to Ourselves

Thoughts have immense power. What ideas we allow to exist in our minds are what we will inevitably become, for better or worse. Often our thoughts become audible words that carry the same ability to create or destroy. Scripture has stories that illustrate the power of words, such as the verbal blessing given to the eldest son by his dying father. The younger son, knowing that the blessing that his father spoke would indeed come into being, went so far as to “steal” the blessing from his brother. He knew that “the word becomes flesh”.

But Christianity is hardly the only religion or philosophy that professes the power of thoughts and word. In Shortcuts to Bliss by Jonathan Robinson, I found 2 excellent exercises that put this principle in action.

How To Grow Your Self-Esteem
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, a.k.a. The Mirror Exercise

“Like the queen [in Snow White], most of us have bought the idea that we are not as beautiful, worthy of love, or as good as someone else. Capitalizing on our insecurities and lack of self-worth, advertisers tell us that if we were only richer or more beautiful, we’d be loved. Although we may know better in theory, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to gain recognition from others as a substitute for our lack of self-love. Yet there is no substitute for really liking yourself.”

He suggests plunking down in front of a mirror, looking yourself in the eyes (which can be quite difficult at first), and notice what feelings and thoughts arise. Then speak to yourself out loud, “as if you were talking to a really good friend”. Tell the person in the mirror how much you appreciate her, what you’re proud of her achieving, and basically say the “things that the person in the mirror needs to hear in order to feel appreciated and cared for”. What would you say to a hurting friend? Be gentle, be loving.

(Recently I read this exact concept explained in My Gender Workbook where a priest told a transperson that ze must treat hirself “as an honored guest”.)

How To Stop Putting Yourself Down
Getting “Bertha” off Your Back

“Bertha” is what the author decided to call his inner critic. That evil little voice that whispers lies about how thoroughly, hopelessly wrong you are. When you want to be bold, do your best, try something new, improve yourself, your own “Bertha” will do its best to shame or scare you into believing that all of those things are impossible. It’s a common adage: We are our own worst critic.

But what if we gave our inner critic a name, a personality, a distinct voice, to separate it from ourselves? Then we’re no longer fighting ourselves, but a trivial little nuisance. Name your inner critic something that, to you, symbolizes the negative words that it will sometimes speak. If your inner critic is born of fear, always reminding you how scary life is and that you’d better not take a chance, then name it something timid and small. If your inner critic is cruel and angry, name it after the most brutish character you can think of.

There are 2 keys to getting your “Bertha” off your back. The first is to have a dialogue with it. “Imagine that her job is to annoy and control you, where as your job is is to not take its ranting so seriously. Talk to this voice, either out loud or inside your head. Say things like ‘Hello, I was expecting you now. Blah, blah, blah- you always say the same old stuff. You’re going to need new material if you expect to hook me like you have in the past. Why don’t you just calm down and take your finger off the panic button? Everything is just fine… You’re not needed now’. In general, the more your Bertha realizes you’re hip to its ways, the more it will leave you alone.”

The second way is to change the sound of Bertha’s voice. It probably has a definite negative sound, whether angry, terrified, hysterical, etc. Non-verbal communication accounts for the majority of what we express (I’ve read between 70-93%) so it makes sense that how Bertha speaks to us is actually more important that what it says. When your Bertha speaks to you, why not give it a voice like Mickey, Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? “No matter what you think, it’s hard to take it too seriously if you hear it in a Bugs Bunny tone of voice.”

While I think the author diminishes the power of words themselves, I believe his summary on why these exercises work is still fairly accurate. “The only way destructive thoughts can impact our lives is when we take them very seriously. Harmful thoughts literally feed off of our reactions to them… Sticks and stones may break your bones, but passing thoughts need not hurt you if you don’t take them so seriously. Once bothersome thoughts lose their power over you, you’ll feel like a great burden has been lifted.”

I could not agree more.

Paper or Plastic

As I build a new life without plastic, I’ve realized how ubiquitous it has become. More than that though, it’s made me realize how much I strive to create archival things. How humans have been doing it for over half a century; constructing items that will live on for eternity once we’ve begun to decompose. Plastic is the stuff of permanance. Paper is ephemeral. Like us.

Asking The Right Questions

“…by asking yourself specific questions on a regular basis, you can dramatically change your life. Questions are a quick and powerful way to change your focus- and what you focus on grows. Our emotional state is largely determined by what we think about. If we subconsciously think throughout the day, “What else is wrong in my life?” then we’ll likely feel anxious a lot of the time. However, if we focus on the question, “What can I feel grateful for?” then it’s easy to feel a whole lot better.”

Like a good computer, our brain attempts to answer whatever question we feed it. We already use this technique, but unfortunately we may tend to choose questions that make us feel worse. “Why is that person such a jerk? What else do I have to do today? What else could go wrong?”

“Over many years of trial and error, I have found there are four specific questions that are effective in quickly changing how a person feels. They are:

1. What small successes have I had recently?
2. What could I feel grateful for?
3. Who do I love and/or who loves me?
4. What do I appreciate about myself?

Each of these questions can be like a flashlight that helps you see past your inner darkness to the ‘heaven within’. It only takes one or two minutes of focusing on any of these inquiries to change what you perceive and how you feel. To tune into the magic they offer, simply begin by taking a slow, deep breath, and then repeat the chosen question a couple of times. At first, you’ll probably come up with intellectual answers that don’t seem very connected to your feelings. Yet with practice, you’ll learn to feel positive emotions that result from the answers you think of; for example, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, you may choose to ask yoursel, ‘What small successes have I had recently?’ As you think of several answers, you’ll notice your thoughts will gebin to move in a different direction. By focusing and visualizing one or more successes, you can begin to tune into the feelings of confidence and achievement… think of specific instances… [and] they need not be big, dramatic examples…”

And what about when something negative has just happened? Instead of putting a fake smile on or trying to recall past successes, there is a magic question that will allow you to honestly and realistically look at the bright side.

In the midst of a bad situation, ask yourself “What could potentially be good about this?” Come up with at least 2 things that could potentially be valuable about the problem at hand.

-Quotes and paraphrasing from Shortcuts to Bliss by Jonathan Robinson

I believe that God is in control of everything that transpires, so this last question feels like a logical extension of my faith. (This could apply to nearly any spirituality though.) Knowing that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” means that when things go flakey around the edges, God is still at work, giving us an opportunity for growth and improvement. If we can remember this and in the midst of everything still say “So God, what’s potentially good about this rough patch?” I think that we can totally change our perception of what “hard times” mean. Rather than feeling random or like a punishment - when I am in my right mind- I can see it as a blessing! I understand this concept most when I envision God as a father who never gives up on his child. (Well-meaning but misinformed parents sometimes try to shelter their kids from consequences and tough life lessons, robbing them of tremendous growth potential!) When my bad choices have lead me to a problem, or when I lack in any particular area(s) of personal development, my father carefully watches over me as I perservere through it in order to become a better person. Hard times are not dead ends, but obstacle courses that we must learn to complete with a good attitude. The lessons never stop either because He is never done working on/with His children!

The day I knew I was a grown up was the first time I said, in the midst of adversity, “Thank you God for never giving up on me. Thank you for giving me another chance to perfect myself for you.”

And now I think I need to do some finger painting. I feel way too adult saying these sorts of things without making wild hand gestures and facial expressions.

The Power Breath for energy and calm

AKA: How to get high without drugs. Har har. It only takes 90 seconds, yet it’s energizing effect can last for an hour. You can use it to change your mood, feel more energy, become relaxed- even to replace a cigarette or snack.

• Have a clock or stop watch in front of you so you can easily see when the seconds have passed. 
• To do the Power Breath, sit up in a chair with your spine straight.
• Make a soft fist out of each hand, and place the back of your hands so that they’re near your shoulders.
• To begin the breathe, inhale powerfully through your nose while lifting your arms straight over your shoulders.
• When you exhale, bring your hands back next to your shoulders as you powerfully let out air through your nose.
• Repeat this form of aerobic breathing as quickly and as intensely as you possibly can for a full 60 seconds.*
• Once you’ve done this breath for the full minute take one last deep breath and hold it. You can put your hands into a comfortable position on your lap. Hold your breath for at least 20 seconds, longer if you can.
• Then, exhale with a long, slow sighing sound. Aaaaaahhhh! Feel the energy throughout your body. Pretty amazing, isn’t it?

Paraphrased from Shortcuts to Bliss by Jonathan Robinson 

*If you need to slow down due to lightheadedness, take a regular deep breath, then proceed again once at a comfortable pace. Lightheadedness only means your body isn’t used to getting so much oxygen.

Notes: Don’t do Power Breath after a meal: it will make you nauseous. If you can’t breathe well through your nose, it’s okay to inhale/exhale through your mouth. It’s also a good idea to blow your nose beforehand so it’s easier to breathe. Settting a timer for 1 minute can allow you to focus on your breath and not have to watch a clock. After you feel comfortable doing this for 60 seconds, try it for longer periods of time. The longer you do it, the more energy you’re likely to experience. 

first and foremost we are our gender

“War is a time of heightened masculinity when women disappear off the public stage except as victims or supporters of their men. War in some terrible way is the final victory of gender hierarchies. Just as they did in the 1950’s, under the government-orchestrated fear of subversives, differences- imagined and lived- will now become even more suspect, more dangerous and endangered.”

-Joan Nestle

“Fundamentalist regimes often begin with gender, because of all the things we have to say to each other, first and foremost among them is our gender. It’s the reason we dress as we do every morning, style our hair specific ways, stand and walk and gesture and even inflect our voices the way we do. Gender is what attracts us to other people [well, superficially it seems] and how we hope to make ourselves attractive to them. In fact, throughout our entire waking lives we are carrying on a continuous nonverbal dialogue with the world, saying ‘This is who I am, this is how I feel about myself, this is how I want you to see me.’”

“In a society where femininity is feared and loathed, all women are genderqueer. In a culture where masculinity is defined by having sex with women and femininity by having sex with men, all gay people are genderqueer.”

”For although it looks like something we are, gender is always a doing rather than a being. In this sense, all gender is drag. And as with any drag, there’s always the chance that we’ll do something wrong, fall off the stage, do something unscripted outside the lines. So even a ‘real man’- all muscles, Clint Eastwood clenched teeth, and Sly Stallone dominance- might one day find himself crying during a movie, wondering what it feels like to wear a revealing dress, or feeling strange physical empathies with his pregnant wife.” 

-Riki Wilchins

-GENDERqUEER intos

I think what is most shocking to me when I undertake a new focused area of study, is how foundational and entangled it is with everything else. I’m finding this especially true with examining gender. And like new revelations, I suddenly find support for these ideas everywhere! When I first dove into feminist theory, it felt like one of the common denominators that I was looking for that would interlink my other ideas. However, I now am beginning to feel that feminism builds- divisivly I’m afraid- on top of the topic of gender. Truly, isn’t every interaction between humans built on a platform of gender? The examples above (physical, verbal, emotional) make it seem so clear. Everything stems from our gender-based perceptions and interpretations. I see a man with a confident gate, a sports jersey, and hands toughened by manual labor: I draw some very strong conclusions and act accordingly. The same is done back to me by everyone I encounter.

Last week, when I was wearing a (carefully sat upon) knee length skirt while riding my scooter, why did the male in the car that sped by yell “You need to shave your legs, girl!”? The unwritten, mutable-over-time and between social cirlces, yet always-attempting-to-be-enforced gender role of women is more pervasive than I thought.

Rethinking the system to affect social change

“In the introduction to Sexual Politics, one of feminism’s earliest manifestos, Kate Millett complained that analyzing the patriarchy was so difficult because there was no alternative system to which it might be compared. Her comment could well apply to trying to analyze the gender system. The problem is not that we don’t know the gender system well enough but that we know it all too well and can’t envision any alternative. Thus, trying to understand gender sometimes feels like trying to take in the Empre State Building while standing only three inches away: It’s at once so big, so overwhelming, and so close that we can’t see it all at once or conceptualize it clearly.

Gender is like a lens through which we’ve not yet learned to see. Or, more accurately, like glasses worn from childhood, it’s like a lens through which we’ve always seen and can’t remember how the world looked before. And this lens is strictly bifocal. It strangely shows us only black and white in a Technicolor world so that… there may certainly be more than two genders, but two genders is all we’ve named, all we know, and all we’ll see.” 

-GENDERqUEER intro by Riki Wilchins 

I’m always drawn to concepts that explain the necessity of reimagining “the system” from the ground up, rather than trying to rearrange aspects of the current system. I’ll never give up on humanity, but I do agree with the mindset that everything must be demolished and built anew.

If gender is so “natural” why hasn’t it been codified?

“We make jokes like ‘Real men don’t each quiche’, or admonitions like ‘A real woman would be married by now.’ Not that anyone has ever written all these qualifications down, mind you. People have tried, but there’s been too much disagreement about what constitutes a ‘real man’, and what constitutes a ‘real woman’ for there to be one acceptable document containing the absolute definitions of either of these categories of identity. So by trial and error we lean the reality of our real manhood and real womanhood. We build our own definitions for these, and we’re very pleased to know people who agree with our definitions. When enough people agree with us, we begin to assume it’s natural.

Well, here’s a question: If gender is so natural, then why hasn’t it been written down and codified? Most everything else that’s considered ‘natural’ has been codified. Why isn’t there some agreed-upon manual we could hand our children and say, ‘Here, honey. This is what a real man is. Learn this well.’ Why do we mystify these categories to such a degree that we assume ‘everybody knows’ what real men and real women are?”

-My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein